.. where are the spoons? ..

Well what happened Doctor was I saw this marker pen, blue it was, and I thought I'll 'ave that. So I've got it in my hand and then I slip it in my pocket and that was that. Then, later on, I was walking by this cardboard box and I don't know why but I just wanted, well had, to write on it. And before I knew it I was. I wrote in big letters;

WHERE ARE THE SPOONS?

Now don't ask me cos I don't know why - well not at this point anyway. But it kept happenin'. Anything I walked by would get this question scribbled on it. Walls, chairs, bins, boxes, other pens, windows, fruit, lampposts; everything. And not only did I not know why I was doing it… Well… I… The… Er… I didn't know what the writing meant. What sort of questions is; where are the spoons?

So on and on it went for weeks and I gotta tell ya I got some funny looks. People looked at me as though I was or am crazy. I felt okay apart from this writing obsession - I just had to do it. I tried throwing the pen away but a dog fetched it back for me. So I dumped it in a skip - having first written on it - but that didn't help because I just got other pens and paints and pencils and felt-tips and charcoals. And still I'd write this one question over and over. Now I'm starting to think I'm mad at this point which is why I booked to see you, see?

But then… Then something happened which proved I wasn't, isn't or never likely to be, mad. I had just finished graffiting a drain pipe when I spotted a Pi… Policeman. Now at this point because… Because… people are talking and papers are reporting, I looked both ways, careful like, before making my mark so to speak. But this Pi… Policeman has appeared outta nowhere and starts chasin' after me. All the while he's shouting this and that and the other and I hear the odd word now and then;

make chase tired stop offence law property make chase tired stop

Now, I have to lose him but I run down this alleyway, see? And I notice one of them big blue bin type skip things, know the ones I mean? They have slide back lids. Anyway, I'd never wrote it on one of them and temptation got the better of me - was way too hard to resist so, getting a pen from me pocket, I stop like, several yards from it and decide to run back to the bin I'd just gone by. The Pi… Policeman is still running after me, well I mean towards me. We both ran at each other now. The Pi… Policeman well, he panics or something and runs off in the other direction. So I write on the bin and then carry on chasin' him. He wasn't that fast and soon I caught him up and jumped on his back pushing him to the ground. After a struggle and that, I've got him pinned down and I'm looking into his eyes thinking how I've never written it on a Pi… Policeman's forehead neither. It was a bit of a struggle but I eventually managed to handcuff him with his own handcuffs. The squirming continued though and his legs were kicking about all over the show, so that didn't help but I managed to write it even though it was slightly wobbly. Then, just because… Well I don't know why, I threw his keys in a random direction and ran across the road near the church. St… Er… Well I don't know. Anyway, so I see the church welcome board thingy, which reads;

NO GOD
NO HAPPINESS
KNOW GOD
KNOW HAPPINESS

So I just had to write all over it. Where are the spoons? Where are the spoons? Where are the spoons? Where are the spoons? Where are the spoons? And still I didn't know why. I decided to walk through the graveyard because that's where the vicar normally keeps his car - out the back part. There's a car park there you see. Well anyway… Right. Where was I? Oh yeah, about halfway down the path I notice this pink chalk mark and so I start to follow it. It seemed like I was following it forever. I followed it out of the churchyard, through the car park, down the road and into the local park. It then led down past the swings, the duck pond, the tennis courts. And about now, I'm thinking that must have been a lone piece of chalk. And, crazy as it seems, I still follow it. Just like when I was writing on things. I carried on even though I didn't know why.

Gradually I started to pick up more and more pace until I was running - well sprinting. I still have no idea why at this point. On and on and on, right to the other side of town. It was starting to get dark now too. And cold, though the running made it bearable. Suddenly I was in another park I hadn't been in before, I thought I knew the whole area. I could see a figure in the distance. The chalk line was leading up to it. I stopped to see if I could tell who it was. I couldn't but I carried on anyway. The closer I got, the safer I felt. I could feel something in the air - it's hard to explain. And, as I stood face to face with this figure, I could now see that it was the most beautiful and curious female I have ever seen and in her hand she held a piece of card that had something written on it. It was the proof that I wasn't mad. It was the answer. Nothing mattered anymore apart from me, this female and eternity. No more tears, no loneliness. I knew what I had meant. I had followed the chalk for a reason. The card read;

HERE ARE THE SPOONS.

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