.. balloon ..

This is amazing. What a buzz. How high am I exactly? And still, I keep getting higher. I'm elated, euphoric, pumped up with adrenalin. It's bright, it's colourful, it's absolutely beautiful. They say the sky's the limit but is it, actually? I just keep going and going and going. It feels like I'm being lifted to a better place. A safer place. Surely I can't top this - it's fantastic. Life is wonderful. I can't believe I doubted it before. People look great from here. Everything's going to be okay. I have a purpose. Wow! Higher and higher and higher. I'm unstoppable.

Woah, hang on.
What's that?
Something's happening.
I'm coming down.
Something's triggered it.
A slight snag?
I'm not sure what it is.
And now I'm starting to descend.

As I continue, I can do nothing but accept my downfall. I can see where I'm headed but I can do nothing to stop it. My helplessness makes me panic more so. Everything has turned to greys and blacks and in-betweens - it's like somebody has turned down the brightness on a television set. I feel useless, pointless and ready for death. Why can't I just die? I want to end. Be stopped. As I hit the bottom I reflect on what has happened. Am I relieved or what? I have absolutely no idea.

I'm punctured. I need to start repairs, this puncture is bigger than the last one. Is it worth trying to mend?

.. back ..